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How Investment Managers Should Think About Naming

The Myth of the Perfect Name in Investment Management
There’s a story about the founders of Blackstone that may or may not be true, but like all good stories in finance, it feels true enough to repeat.
In the mid-1980s, Steve Schwarzman and Pete Peterson were sitting in the living room of one of their homes, agonizing over what to name their new firm. They went back and forth for hours: Was “Blackstone” right? Did it sound too serious, too heavy, too cold?
At some point, one of their wives walked in and asked what on earth they were doing. They explained the debate. She listened and said something along the lines of:
“The name doesn’t matter. It’s going to take on whatever attributes you build into it through the business.”
I think that’s exactly the right way to think about naming.
Yes, some names are better than others. But in the end, a name is a totem, not a prophecy. It carries the meaning that you and your people build into it over time.
The Industry’s Long-Running Joke
Private equity and investment management have always had a bit of a naming problem — or maybe a naming formula. The old joke goes: When a new firm tries to name itself, every Greek god is already taken.
That’s only slightly an exaggeration. The Greek gods are taken, the mountain ranges are taken, the oceans are taken. There are plenty of Atlantics and Pacifics, more Summits and Peaks than anyone can count. Some names sound like marketing abstractions. Others turn out to be the founder’s childhood street.
The naming conventions are so narrow that, over time, they’ve become self-referential humor inside the industry.
And then there’s Cerberus, the three-headed dog guarding the gates of hell. To this day, I can’t hear that name without flashing back to seventh-grade Latin class, where our textbook introduced “Cerberus the dog” before I knew anything about private equity. There are exceptions to every rule, but that one remains… a choice.
The Decline of the Eponymous Firm
Over the past 10 or 15 years, we’ve seen a clear shift away from firms named after their founders. The reason is obvious.
First, it reads as egotistical. Most leaders don’t want to send that signal to their teams, their LPs, or the market.
Second, longevity. When a firm’s name is tied directly to one or two people, there’s an inevitable cognitive dissonance when those people retire, move into a chairman role, or pass away.
You can see the evolution all over the industry. The Jordan Company becomes TJC. Thomas H. Lee becomes THL. Kohlberg Kravis Roberts, thankfully, becomes KKR. These firms have the scale and history to make the acronym work. The rest of us would probably disappear into the alphabet soup.
Amusingly, even Blackstone is now often referred to simply by its ticker, BX. Maybe that’s the end state of all successful firms: eventually you become two letters and a stock price.
Why Naming Projects So Often Disappoint
Darien Group has been involved in probably a dozen significant naming projects over the years — usually for new firms or new funds. In the earlier days, we’d bring in professional naming agencies. These were the real deal: they’d worked with major corporations, had linguists and cultural researchers on staff, and could talk for hours about phonemes, etymology, and word shape.
And yet, even with all that science behind them, the results were often unsatisfying. The client would nod politely, we’d circulate long lists of “rationales,” and somehow everything felt off. Half the time, we ended up reverting to something the client came up with themselves — or something that emerged spontaneously during a call.
Which brings me to one of my favorite examples.
How “Heartwood” Was Born
In the mid-2010s, we worked with a private equity firm that had been operating since the early 1980s. Its original name, Capital Partners Incorporated, had been perfectly serviceable for its era. But by 2015, it had the feel of something chosen quickly at formation and never revisited — more generic than intentional, and out of step with what the firm had become.
The firm needed to rebrand. Its differentiator was in how it structured acquisitions: rather than loading companies with five to seven turns of debt, it preferred two or three, sharing more cash flow with management and investors. That was a selling point for founder-led and family-owned businesses.
We hired a professional naming agency to help, and a month in, the client still hated every option. On a Friday morning before a call with them — where we had nothing new to present — I started thinking about metaphors for solidity. I googled “diagram of a tree trunk.”
It turns out a tree has five concentric layers. The innermost, densest layer is called heartwood — the core that provides the trunk’s strength.
Fifteen minutes later, we had a name that perfectly captured the firm’s philosophy: structural strength at the center, reliability for both investors and management teams. It wasn’t flashy, but it had integrity and metaphorical resonance.
That’s usually what works.
The Illusion of “Scientific” Naming
The irony of the naming industry is that it pretends there’s a formula. There isn’t.
Even with today’s tools, ChatGPT included, you can generate a hundred plausible names in five minutes. The trick is not generation; it’s judgment. Which one feels like your firm? Which one you can say out loud without wincing? Which one will sound credible in a partner meeting or on a pitch deck?
At the end of the day, I agree with the Blackstone anecdote. The name becomes whatever meaning the firm builds into it. You can have the greatest name in the world, but if you underperform, it will eventually sound cheap. You can have a pretty bad name and, if you succeed, it will start to sound timeless.
What Actually Matters
So, what makes a name good?
- Ownability. It has to be available — trademark, URL, and search results. One new client we worked with launched a site and was baffled that they weren’t showing up on Google. The problem? Their name was nearly identical to a much larger financial institution overseas. That’s like naming yourself “Nike Equity” and expecting to rank.
- Appropriateness. The tone should match your audience. If you’re a middle-market industrial investor, a name like “Quantum Axis Capital” probably oversells the sophistication. Conversely, “Smith Capital” underplays it.
- Comfort. You have to like saying it. You’ll say it thousands of times a year.
Everything else is taste.
The Role of Brand and Narrative
The reason names still matter is that they’re shorthand for a broader story. A name opens the door; the brand narrative walks people through it.
Choosing a name is an act of positioning; it hints at personality, time horizon, and risk tolerance. A strong brand and narrative make that positioning explicit. That’s what differentiates one manager from another when everyone is competing for the same dollar of capital.
Brand, narrative, reputation, and story are all tools for outcompeting in a crowded market. You can’t own a better Greek god, but you can own a clearer message.
A Totem, Not a Strategy
I’ve come to see naming as a strangely emotional process for clients. It’s personal. It feels like destiny. But really, it’s just the first line of a longer story.
A name is a totem, not a strategy. Pick something you can own, pronounce, and stand behind. Make sure it’s not already taken. Beyond that, stop agonizing.
Because if your firm performs well, the name will come to mean excellence. And if it doesn’t, even the perfect name won’t save you.

